# Don't Know What to Say to Someone With Scoliosis? Start Here [Scoliosis,](/resources/tag/scoliosis) [Awareness](/resources/tag/awareness) What to Say to Someone With Scoliosis: 10 Supportive Phrases That Help Finding the right words for someone with scoliosis is hard. These 10 phrases help you show up — for a child, friend, or sibling going through treatment. It has happened to many of us, struggling to find the right words. Sometimes it can be hard not knowing just what to say to someone we care about when they are in need. Having a bad day, emergency situations, or chronic illness can all be topics many of us might want to avoid. When our friends or loved ones need us the most, it is ok to be unsure of how to help or what to say. So we have put together a few ideas that might work for you when talking to a friend, sibling or child about their scoliosis. **1. I care for you and am here for you.** **2. I believe in you.** **3. You are so strong.** **4. What can I do to help?** **5. I know this isn't your fault.** **6. Tell me how you feel.** **7. Can I stop by?** **8. Can I help you carry your bag at school?** **9. Don't feel bad if you need to cancel plans. I understand.** **10. It's ok if you're having a bad day, I'm here to listen.** ### Download a Parent's Guide Download a printable guide to Adolescent Idiopathic Scoliosis for parents and caregivers. [Download Now](https://spinaltech.com/uploaded/uploads/Spinal-Tech_Parents_Guide_Prov_AIS_2025-05-07-1.pdf) ## Why the Right Words Matter Scoliosis is not just a physical condition. For children and adolescents in particular, a diagnosis arrives during some of the most socially sensitive years of their lives. Research has consistently shown that teenagers with scoliosis face elevated rates of anxiety, depression, and body image concerns compared to peers without the condition. The words people around them use — from parents, siblings, classmates, and close friends — can either reinforce that burden or meaningfully reduce it. The ten phrases above are a starting point. The sections below go further: what to avoid saying, how to talk specifically with a child who is wearing a brace, and when the conversation needs to involve a medical specialist. ## What Not to Say to Someone With Scoliosis Good intentions do not always produce helpful words. Several common responses — all usually offered with genuine care — tend to make the experience harder for the person receiving them. Being aware of these phrases helps you avoid them. ***"You don't look like anything is wrong."*** This is meant to reassure, but it often lands as dismissal. Scoliosis involves real physical discomfort, daily limitations, and emotional weight that are not visible from the outside. Telling someone they look fine can make them feel that their experience is not being taken seriously. ***"At least it's not serious" or "It could be worse."*** Minimizing comparisons shift the conversation away from the person in front of you. Every case of scoliosis has its own challenges. A child managing a moderate curve with full-time bracing is dealing with something significant, regardless of what a more severe case might involve. ***"I knew someone who had scoliosis and they turned out fine."*** Stories about other people's outcomes — positive or negative — are rarely helpful. They imply that the current person's experience should match someone else's, and they redirect attention from what this individual is going through right now. ***"Have you tried..."*** followed by unsolicited treatment suggestions. Parents and friends who have done their own research sometimes feel compelled to suggest alternative treatments or question the current treatment plan. Unless you are the treating physician or orthotist, this is almost never welcome. Children with scoliosis and their parents have typically already researched their [treatment options](https://spinaltech.com/resources/for-parents-patients/bracing-information) thoroughly. ***"Just stand up straight."*** Scoliosis is a structural condition of the spine. Posture cues do nothing to address the underlying curve and signal a fundamental misunderstanding of the diagnosis. This phrase is best left out of any conversation about scoliosis entirely. ***"Is the brace working? How long do you have to wear it?"*** Questions about treatment progress, brace duration, and outcomes are natural, but leading with them in casual conversation can make the child feel defined by their condition. Let them bring up treatment details when they are ready. Ask how they are feeling before asking how the brace is doing. The simpler rule across all of these: follow the other person's lead. If they want to talk about their scoliosis, listen. If they want to talk about anything else entirely, do that. ## Frequently Asked Questions - Focus on presence over advice. The most useful thing you can say immediately after a diagnosis is that you are there and that you are not going anywhere. Phrases like "***I'm here for whatever you need***" and "***This doesn't change anything between us***" are more valuable than reassurances about outcomes. Avoid jumping to treatment suggestions or sharing stories about other people you know who had scoliosis — every case is different, and comparisons tend to minimize rather than comfort. - Several well-intentioned phrases tend to backfire. Telling someone they "***don't look like anything is wrong***" dismisses the real physical and emotional burden of the condition. Saying "***at least it's not serious***" or "***I knew someone who was fine***" shifts focus away from the person in front of you. Offering unsolicited treatment opinions — unless you are their doctor — is rarely welcome. People with scoliosis, particularly adolescents, are often more informed about their condition than those around them. Emotional support is almost always more helpful than medical commentary. #### Related Articles ##### [Jessica Ashwood: The Olympic Swimmer Who Refuses to Let Scoliosis Set the Pace](https://spinaltech.com/resources/jessica-ashwood-olympic-swimmer) ##### [How to Talk With a Child Who Is Wearing a Scoliosis Brace](https://spinaltech.com/resources/how-to-talk-with-a-child-who-is-wearing-a-scoliosis-brace) ##### [What is One Piece of Advice?](https://spinaltech.com/resources/what-is-one-piece-of-advice)